Mom Update

So Mom has been here for 10 days.

How has it been, you may ask? Well not bad actually. I haven't been feeling anything that gets on my nerves, which is a horrible way of stating it. I expect her to eat. I expect to have to buy her cigerettes, I expect her to sleep when there is somewhere I need to go and she doesn't want to.

I paid for her to get her hair done one Monday, and she like it but seemed more concerned with what could she do to earn Pepsi and smokes. That kinda bugs.

Today I wanted to take her to fill out applications, instead she said she stayed up till 1:30 in the morning and didn't feel well. What can I do? So a couple of things are coming up but nothing I can't work through.

Des is gone till Saturday to my dad's and I have super jealousy issues with that.

Mom did go to Kingdom Hall with me on Tuesday, she had some questions before we left, for example. why do we call God Jehovah? Great question and actually very basic. I tried to answer it for her the best I could. Then we go to meeting and during one of the brothers talks she gets my attention and tells me that shes a bit freaked out because the brother was answering her questions. And she was loud too.
I told her anybody there was capable of studying with her.

Jehovah has my back, I can feel him keeping me calm and level headed.

Chances

So my Mom is coming today.
A lot has happened when it concerns her. She wasn't going to come here till April 1st but she has warn out her welcome at the place she is staying. Not because she did anything hut the extra person puts added burden on this family...completely understandable.

I am so nervous. To open my life up to her sets me up for hurt, frustration, downfall. I have NO illusions that I can change her but I want to GIVE her the opportunity to change.
Chances are SOOO rarely given; I have been given may chances by my husband. She honestly has only ONE chance.

When my mom is around I have constant bad dreams, we argue over my kids, she eats all my food. but I need to move on from my childhood. I need closure like you can't imagine.

She will be going to Kingdom Hall with me. She will have 2 weeks to sleep and get used to the Utah weather and elevation. She understands that I am the mom and she is the grandma. She is not allowed to snack all day and night long. She will have an open door policy is she needs or wants anything.

Pray for me...Pray my family forgives me and yet supports me.
Pray this decision doesn't come in between Dea and I.
Pray I get a medal....lol

Big Decision

So today I made a HUGE decision...I'm going to let my Mom come stay with me for a bit.

It's not for 3 weeks and you never know what will happen in 3 weeks but for now, this is my dicision.

I've tried calling my brother but he hasn't called me back...kinda frustrating. Although I know he's going through some stuff too.

My mom has warn out her welcome where she is...It's not her fault, the people she is staying with just didn't know how long she would be staying. Apparently their gas got shut off a week ago. Maybe I should pay it and call that helping with the costs of her stay.

I don't know.

I'm nervous.
Nervous for myself, my family, my sanity.
Maybe this will bring change.

But I will not hold my my breath, change is hard...For ALL of us!!

We regret to inform you

Sorry I haven't been here in a bit.I have been so busy. If it's not work it's school, or family, or sleep. I haven't even talked to anybody on the telephone.
Which I feel bad about because my dad and I had this super awesome conversation about a month ago and we haven't really talked since. And my sis Kim. We used to talk everyday, if we didn't talk, we sent each other a txt saying hi, but the other day I txt her and she replies shortly saying she was stressed. All I could wonder is what did I do.

Well yesterday I got my letter from Weber State University...
Dear Susan,
The Weber State University School of Nursing Admissions regrets to inform you...Blah blah blah...

I didn't get in... I didn't even expect the letter yet which makes it even worse. I thought it was in regard to a ticket they keep hounding me about, NOT. I didn't really have my hopes up and I don't know anyone who has got in but on the same note it's still disappointing.

Onward and Upward I say... What else can I do...

On a lighter note. The other night we had a few friends over and boss from work came and a few friends from work too. We had a BLAST!!! I can't wait to get together again. In fact my boss, (which at some point I hope to quit referring to her as "MY BOSS" and just my friend Andrea) invited me and the family to Jerico Dunes this weekend. I don't think we can go though cause the trailer needs some a fixin. Maybe next time.

Well readers have a great day...