RN2

What! Where has time gone? I am in my last semester of nursing school. Yesterday marked the beginning of the end. What a weird day. I was not feeling well at all. I have this horrible cough, and hated to be disturbing everyone. We have a ton to do this semester before precepting starts. I have been assigned to precept at LDS Hospital on Labor and Delivery. I NEVER thought that would happen, I had heard so many rumors that Marijo doesn't let anyone unless they are exceptional in class, well we all know that wasn't me. But I hope I showed heart. Maybe that's what got me through. Today is also day 22 of the healing process of my surgery, things are looking good, unfortunately I don't have a picture. I have received many compliments on how skinny I look and of course it's great to hear. Just wish I felt better. I had had this cough for two weeks and have taken two rounds of antibiotics. I cannot take anymore antibiotics! Let's just say my drive train is a little messed up. :(. I went to the Dr. Tuesday, and she thought I had a blood clot. She sent to McKay for a CT Scan, with contrast. At first I was against this because I just didn't think I had one, then she tells me that nurses make the worst patients, screw you doc, I'll get it. :/ Well turns out I don't have a blood clot, but they found a few other things. If you read this please keep this confidential...I document this for my own records as well. Anyways, I was told that I have Pulmonary Hypertension, a nodule in my right upper lung, and an aneurysm in my spleen. Of coarse I had a total collapse of medical knowledge, and had no idea what any of this meant. A friend suggested I call Marijo, my RN coordinator and she explained it to me in terms I understood. She also suggested I get a second opinion. I have an appointment to get an echocardiogram on Tuesday and an appointment with a specialist for my spleen. I also have an appointment with a Dr., Marijo suggested for a second opinion. I got this diagnosis on Tuesday the 27th. I could not sleep that night, I cried and cried. Wondering if I was even gonna wake up in the morning. I had so many what if's going through my mind. I txted a dear friend of mine and she said the sweetest things to me. I woke up in the morning thankful to be awake...and everyday I am still thankful I wake up. I refuse to let my health get the best of me. I have too many goals I am aiming to accomplish. One thing that is on my mind is precepting so far from home. I wish I was at McKay or Ogden-Regional. But I hate to take the spots of the young ladies assigned there. I'm tired, I really just want to sleep. WIth the humidifier next to me. I just want to be better. And guess what... I will be fine!

This is the text from a dear friend... XO

Heartache

As a parent, you get the opportunity to to experience a new aspect of life, but through your kids. My journey with my 5 kids are all so different. They are all different from each other. Jeff is growing into this young man before me. It's AMAZING to watch. Next week, he actually starts college...COLLEGE, are you kidding? Where as the time gone. Ugh how I've hated people tell me through the years to be there and take nothing for granted because it goes so fast...I had no idea the cliche' would have such a moment of impact on me. Jeff got scholarships, he has a full time job, he says he's not ready to be in a relationship, he's just being Jeff. How lucky am I to be the mom of this young man! How lucky indeed. 

Now Des, 16 and every bit a 16 year old. Des started school today, a junior. A JUNIOR! This summer she experienced her first heartbreak. And honestly my heart breaks with her. You never forget you first heartbreak, your first love. As you read this I bet you are remembering your first love. But as a mom, I am feeling protective, sad and, most of all heartbroken with her. Being a mom is the most trying, tasking, rewarding, loving, and blessed role I could have. I can't imagine any of my kids not living next to me. It's my worst fear. I truly believe that my first role is to parent and I've never lost sight of that, but there are times that we have a friendship, and let me tell ya... Those are my most cherished moments! 

Recovery Day 8

Recovery has had it's ups and downs that's for sure. Dea stayed with me downstairs for three nights, which was pretty incredible of him. He set his alarm every 2 hours for me to take my pain pills. There is something wrong with my voice, it seems when I try to talk louder I can't. I have this high pitched tone come out that nobody can hear. I can't cough of coarse and when I do it's agony. My sides and back hurt where the lipo was done. I can finally  shower tomorrow, although I am nervous.  My stomach feels so weird to touch. I'm getting pretty sick of sleeping in the recliner. I've been asked if I regret having the surgery, the answer is I don't know yet but recovery is lengthy and miserable

Life update

School is finally over, and has been out for about a week. And I passed RN1. It was not anywhere near easy. I cried to me dad on the phone, sobs of tears expressing my fear of failing. But in the end I pulled thru just like everyone said I would and I raised my grade tow letter grades. What an accomplishment. I have the most amazing team of friends behind me, supporting me. Since school has been out I have not done much of anything, not even cook or clean. I have, however started reading a book. I hardly see Dea which has pretty much sucked but he has to work while he can. The boys are going hunting this year and we need all the help we can get financially. Jeff is still working his heart out. I can't believe that in a few short weeks he will be starting college. This boy makes me so proud. As do all my kids but for now this is Jeff's accomplishment. I have big news... On Thursday I am FINALLY getting a tummy tuck. I have dreamed of this day for SOOOO long. My dad helped with some of the cost, and Dea will be there every step of the way. A few people know about this life change for me, but only those that are close to me. I hate when people say I don't need it. How would they presume to know what I need. I am nervous for the pain but I will have to remind myself that I will no longer have this flab in front of me. I will document the experience and hopefully it will be awesome to go back and read. LOL. I am excited for the last semester of school to begin, the last leg of the journey is almost here...