I GOT IN!!!

Twice, I have been and Alternate for Davis Applied Technology College. The rumor is, if you get accepted as an alternate once that you will get in the next application. This didn't happen for me. I remember my son calling me at work saying my letter came in the mail, and told him to stop everything he was doing, and bring it to me. I opened right in front of him, first pacing in anticipation with my hopes as high as the clouds. Something in my gut told me to prepare though, cause it wasn't good. I opened the letter, and saw the dreaded YELLOW paper. The yellow paper is the application for Sping semester. My letter read that I had been accepted as an alternate again for the fall semester of 2012. This was a Saturday. I cried. I felt so betrayed, crushed, not good enough. I decided that I was going to get off work Monday morning, and go talk to Becky at DATC, and see why, why not me. Why am I not good enough? Monday morning I am a wreck. Sleep deprived, exhausted, and worst of all vulnurable! Becky got the brunt of my heartache. She went over my points with me, and explained I got a bad reference from my chemistry teacher. I was now lower on the list this time than I was for the class in January 2012. I was number 37, this time I was 39. My thought was I have no chance. Well, weeks passed by and I moved. I moved football fields people. I found out I was number 5. Wow That's amazing. So I powered through, got a new reference, and turned in my application one week before it was due. I sat in my car for and hour and a half debating on whether or not I wanted to put myself through this process anymore. On a Monday I got a call from Becky saying she needed some transcripts from me that were not on file. She wantedt o make sure my application was good because she was leaving soon to have a baby. I got my transcripts and gave her a call Wednesday afternoon, July 10, 2012. She asked me if I was getting ready for Spring semester, which I guess I didn't hear her say cause I was completely thrown off saying I was done with everything. Then WAIT...... did she say SPRING??? "Susan, I know the results of your application. Would you like me to tell you?" (WHAT!!! OMG. I do not want to find out over the phone I'm an alternate again but she brought it up. Letters don't go out for 3 weeks!!! EEEEK!!!!) "Becky, You know my results?" "Susan, YOU'RE IN !!!!" CRYING,CRYING,then, MORE CRYING!!! I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO THE NURSING PROGRAM STARTING JANUARY 2013.. FUTURE NURSE...THAT'S ME

Timeless

I am overwhelmed with emotion and decided I have nothing else to do so why not catch up here and and get it all out of my head. First off, Dea has been traveling for months. When he comes home it's...not that great. How can I be excited, and grateful that he's home when he will just leave again. I feel that I need to keep him entertained or he will leave sooner. I miss him so much. Today I had a complete meltdown. Told him everything. I cried and cried, then cried some more. I know he wants to be with me but when he leaves, how do I believe it. He said he'll be done traveling in August, cause of school. Why not for me? Why can't he be done for me. You may be reading what I'm writing but you have no clue what things are like. I have a friend who talks about being married and precepting for nursing. I'm not even in the program. She talkes how she never sees him. What am I going to do. What if all hell breaks loose and I loose everyone. Everyone only includes my family. I have no friends. They are all busy. And honestly I think they think I'm fine so why bother. I have a friend who is getting married in August, she is so happy. I hate being around her. Her man doesn't leave. Her only concerns are her wedding plans. I try to be positive, try not to seem like my life is a mess. But today isn't that day. I miss my husband sooo much..