PN 1 Semester

Today was the last day of this semester. I took my fundamentals final and really felt horrible about it, turns out I did better on it than I did on Lifespan. I passed this semester with 2 A's and a B+. I feel so damn relieved. Today has been emotional. I kept to myself. I didn't want to share my score or talk about someone else's test. The stress is overwhelming, and to try to make another person feel better doesn't help me to feel better so I just kept quiet. I don't want to be compared to you. Yes I am happy for you but being a nurse is about me.
Next semester I am going to study a lot more. I don't want to feel then like I do now. I want the confidence, and I don't believe it's healthy to doubt yourself all of the time.
Listen I have dreamed of this for forever, and I did it... I made it through my first semester of nursing school. GO ME!!

Death, Dying, Depression, and Suicide

Not the best title for my post but this is what I got to listen to for 7 hours on my very last day of actual class today. I'm sad, and thinking about personal stuff in my life that I really try to squish down most of the time. I realized today that this subject is so important in nursing. Most individuals think of healing people and helping people to get better but what about the latter? I really don't have a problem with death, but with that being said, it's hard for me to comfort others who are the family members. Death is sad and tragic and sucks. But I can't say that out loud. On a lighter note, today was my last day of actual class of my first LPN year. How surreal is that??? IT'S AMAZING, that's how it is. I feel incredibly blessed to be where I am. I can't wait for it to be January. Because when I say I'll be a nurse in May, and have my RN in Dec, it will that much closer. I'm living the dream, REALLY, I AM!!!

Friends

In nursing school the key to getting through is prioritizing. On day one, we were thrown so much at us that I had to sit and organize it all. I even color coded my schedule with my classes, test, quizes, labs, passoffs, and clinicals. It was CRAZY. Then next, I had to figure out how to handle learning. I had this misconception that nursing school was one long class...then it became three classes. That helped, okay I'm taking three classes. Next, when and how to study. I am actually still trying to figure this one out. The test in nursing school are like no other tests, and they test you to prepare you for NCLEX Boards. The point of this blog is to remind myself that my priority needs to be ME. BUT...DO you have any idea how dang hard it is to do. People are telling me to not worry about anything else but ME. So here is the new priortized list.. God, Me, School, Family, Friends. If I spend as much on studying as I do worrying about others then I would be acing nursing school.. (Callie, 2012)I'm gonna test this theory...Sorry Friends.. We will talk soon! Love you

Breaking down

We had the hardest test today, fluid and electrolytes. It doesn't matter how much I studied cause I obviously don;t the know info after my score. Here's the thing, It's freaking embarrassing. And I truely wish people would stop posting about theire grades, I know you are bragging about how well you do but you're killing my spirit. I'm done, I'm blocking all of you that post about your damn grades. I don't care and I find it pretty rude of you. ALso I'm done with Facebook for now. I can't deal with your crap let alone my own. I just need and want to be alone. YEP...MAJOR BREAKDOWN!!!

ARGGG...

Dang it! What is my problem. This week was not so stressful. I had a test Wednesday in postpartum, and because I either studied too much or my job got in the way, I got a rather low score. Everyone kept asking me questions and I think I helped them, but I didn't help myself at all. I need someething. But what? I'm going away this weekend, good or bad, I'm not sure but I have got to chill. I need to re-group. I need to be around my peeps and feel good about myself. I need my husband to be home taking care of the kids so I can study. You have no idea how hard it is to tune out all the noises in my house. Jeff has his iphone radio on, the girls are playing, Brandon has two televisions on, and Destiney wants to talk about anything and everything. AHHHHH.... My mind is racing. Why do they have to be off school??? J/K Can someone just put a tube in me and feed me all the info I need? K thanks bye

10-4...Roger that!

Ha Ha I think I'm so funny. Today I had day 3 of clinicles. Not a bad in general. I had a good nurse but she didn't really have time to talk to me about anything. I did however administer 2 sub-Q injectons into the abdomen of two different patients. It wasn't like anything I expected. When I gave the second shot the patient stated it didn't even hurt. Yay me! I needed to write an assessment today but totally forgot half of the information I needed. Duh. Tomorrow, obtain more info for assessment. I'm tired. this week is rather crazy. Mon, Tues, Wed, school, Wed drive to Bountiful for pt assessment, go to McKay for infant massage class, then go home and spend 3 hrs writing it all up. Got to bed at 12am, woke up at 4 am for clinicals today. Tomorrow, clinicles, then work 5-9, Sat, study all day, work 5-9, Sunday, study. Mon-test, Tues-test, wed-quiz, Thurs and Fri-clinicles. Sat work-17L. Yep this is me... See you all some day soon!

Nursing School Blues

You know that girl that sits in class and she is smart,and cute, and funny, and everything just seems easy to her? Well I want desperately to be her. I feel like absolute crap after today's test. I have lost my mojo. I have lost my ability to reason, to have perspective. I've lost what I know. I feel incompetent, unworthy, jealous. I should have nailed this test today, I studied every chance I got but NOO, not me. I need a pep talk, some reassuring words from those around me that know me and know why I should be a nurse. Is anyone out there...Any one?